I'm surprised that I'm getting messages to my tumblr still, some of them are kind and the others--like the one I got this morning--are not.
But, I'm still on haitus from there, I don't know when I'll be able to return I just know that I WANT to. I still have very good friends over there on tumblr, and sometimes I'll sneak in a message or two on the IM to talk to them about a certain post or to let them know that I drew/wrote something for them--or just to say hi, lol. I also missed drawing neopets stuff for them and others to see.
But at the same time there's just....a lot
of drama over there and somehow my sister and I keep finding ourselves amidst it all, and I HATE that. Especially 'cause my sister and I don't want any part of it, we draw or write to keep people's mind off of it but others will laugh it off and create drama over the smallest things saying it's their 'job' or something trivial like that. One person in particular reblogged a pic of mine and turned it into a meme....look, I'm all for memes, alright? And I know my art isn't fuckin' perfect but I worked so hard
on that doodle and seeing it get tossed around and having people laugh at it instead of--no, no no I won't go into it. But know
that I've been having trouble drawing anything with Neopets and anything with that specific pairing since that incident happened. Which absolutely sucks because I love the pairing to death, it's a great dynamic to explore, and now I can't fucking draw it. Write it? Sure, but I'm a visual person and feeling that I can no longer draw those two together breaks my heart.
'Nother drama thing, but it is justified as to what I'm doing: I loved someone very much, we met on tumblr, drawing and writing Neopets together n' shit like that. One day, [take note: two years after we've known with each other] we just stop talking, my sister insists it's because she's busy but I had a feeling that it's actually from someone we both knew being a jerk....anyways, I had always correlated mine and this girl's relationship with Owl City songs [because I'm a sappy person] and after all that drama went down whenever Owl City came on I thought of her and began crying--not the good crying, either.
I was able to fix all of this by drawing Gregg and Angus to Owl City once my sister and I had finished playing Night in the Woods, I felt like that channeling these songs into something else would help and to my relief, it has. I feel like I can finally move on now [and kinda, sorta, focus on someone else I've had feelings for... >//v//> ]
So yeah, recap: I'm getting messages still on tumblr--good and bad ones, and I'm still in this spiraling whirlwind of doubt that people only appreciate my work so they can turn it into the butt of a joke. Besides, what's the point of spending 6-7 hours on a drawing if others are going to make fun of it?
ANYWAYS, if you made it through all of this then you get a cookie.
And a hug. //hugs// sorry for ranting. TL;DR: I'm an anxiety/sad wreck today, also I just feel that art is an important outlet and it should be respected, that's all.
So yeah, I hope yall stay awesome, I love you guys.